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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26355592">Rena Rouge, Can You Give Me the Illusion of Control?</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/therealjanebingley/pseuds/therealjanebingley'>therealjanebingley</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Miraculous Ladybug</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, F/F, Post Season 3, a sad story?, after the battle of the miraculous, it's more likely than you think, on my dashboard?</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 05:21:06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,726</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26355592</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/therealjanebingley/pseuds/therealjanebingley</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>As Marinette reflects on her new role as the Guardian, she realizes she's not in a good place for a romantic relationship. </p><p>So how can she get Chat to stop pursuing Ladybug and Luka to lose interest in Marinette?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>152</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Rena Rouge, Can You Give Me the Illusion of Control?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is a sad one, folks. No happiness here. Sorry.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Marinette sat at her desk chair, staring straight ahead. If it had been a week before, or even just a day, she would have been staring at one of her many posters of Adrien. Or her screensaver of Adrien. Or the framed photo she had of Adrien.</p><p>But today, Marinette's focus was on the Miracle Box.</p><p>It sat on her desk in all of its black-and-red glory, colors clashing with everything in her bright pink room, bringing the weight of Ladybug's superhero responsibility into Marinette's civilian space. </p><p>"I don't want it," she said softly.</p><p>Tikki rested on the top of the box, enormous blue eyes blinking up at her Chosen. "Master Fu wanted more time to train you, but..." Tikki's antennae drooped. "Hawkmoth forced his hand."</p><p>Marinette nodded, expression unchanging, eyes unfocused. "I'm not ready."</p><p>"That's what you thought about being Ladybug at the beginning," Tikki reminded her. "Look at you now!"</p><p>The kwami's positivity was too bright, too saturated - just another color to clash with that pink, pink room.</p><p>Marinette's eyes focused. "This isn't the kind of thing I can slip into Alya's bookbag, is it?" she asked. The corners of her mouth twitched, like she wanted to smile, but her tone was too dull and her eyes were too sad for it to be convincing.</p><p>"No," Tikki confirmed. "It isn't."</p><p>They sat in silence for a moment. Slowly, Marinette nodded her head. "I know what I need to do."</p><p>Tikki shifted her little body, eyeing her Chosen warily. "What do you mean?"</p><p>Instead of answering directly, Marinette said, "Adrien looked so happy yesterday." In her mind's eye, she recalled the previous evening, when her class met up for Andre's ice cream. She'd held a real conversation with Adrien, and then he'd walked off to sit with Kagami. And she'd let him go.</p><p>Marinette had walked in in the opposite direction - with a distinct lack of hairbrained schemes, questionable uses of her miraculous power, or panicked discussions with Tikki about how to get Kagami away from Adrien - and she sat calmly with Luka. She and Adrien were as far apart as they could possibly get, their entire class lined up between them.</p><p>"He's not interested in me," she declared, startling her kwami. "And that's good. Now that I'm the Guardian, I..." Her eyes unfocused again.</p><p>"Marinette?" Tikki asked uncertainly. </p><p>"This is too important to mess up," her Chosen said, almost to herself. "If I'm going to be a good Guardian, I need to strip my life down to the bare essentials."</p><p>Tikki's little mouth tilted into a frown. "What are the bare essentials?"</p><p>"Maman and Papa," Marinette responded at once, focusing again. "School. And Ladybug."</p><p>"What about your friends?"</p><p>Marinette smiled and scooped Tikki up in her hands. "I won't let myself get too isolated," she promised. "But I might have to skip out on some things - more than I already do, I mean." Her eyes drifted up to the posters covering her walls. "And that means no boys."</p><p>She set Tikki down gently and moved to her computer, changing the screensaver from an Adrien collage to a picture of her classmates.</p><p>"Marinette," Tikki began, but her Chosen cut her off.</p><p>"It wouldn't be fair," she said, a sudden aching feeling twisting up her insides. Marinette had barely felt anything but numb panic since Master Fu got on that train and left, so the new sensation was startling at best. "Even as just Ladybug, I'd have to keep secrets from anyone I dated, but this-" she gestured to the Miracle Box, eyes welling up with tears. "How could I give my heart to someone when I would have to lie to them with every breath?"</p><p>Tikki flew up and nuzzled her face. "Oh Marinette." Her voice, usually as high and chipper as a chirping bird, broke. "It will get better."</p><p>Marinette closed her eyes, tears tracking softly down her cheeks and dropping onto her kwami's head. "I have to believe that it will," she said, voice strained. "But until then, I can't handle romance. Trust me, Tikki, I just - all of this is already too much."</p><p>"It would only add to your anxiety," Tikki whispered, fluttering back down to rest on the Miracle Box. "So you'll turn them down? Chat and Adrien and Luka?"</p><p>"Adrien isn't interested in me," she said again, and the words may as well have echoed throughout her body for how cavernously empty she felt. "And I can't just turn down Chat and Luka - I need to completely throw them off the scent. I need to make them decide to give me up."</p><p>"How are you going to do that?"</p><p>Marinette's shoulders drooped. "I have a plan."</p><p>It started with taking down every single poster.</p>
<hr/><p>Chat Noir stuck to the rooftops, too lost in thought to wave at the Parisian citizens who would spot him if he strayed into their sight. Ladybug had called him to a specific meeting spot - a courtyard near Francois Dupont - to talk about her new role as Guardian. The anticipation tugged at Chat's gut uncomfortably.</p><p>Plagg had told him before that Ladybug and Chat Noir were meant to be yin and yang, two halves of a whole; but this felt like just another wedge for fate to drive between them. Surely she would have to keep even more secrets from him now. She was the Guardian. He wasn't.</p><p>His thoughts oscillated between his lady - <em>she'd not yours,</em> he reminded himself - and Kagami. He genuinely liked Kagami, and thought he could grow to love her in time. But he would need to let go of Ladybug first. And if that wasn't a Herculean task, he didn't know what was.</p><p>A block away from the courtyard, he spotted Luka down on the sidewalk. Chat didn't know what compelled him to do it - it wasn't like Luka and Chat Noir were close. But he dropped down beside the other boy anyways.</p><p>Luka, always so calm and unbothered, barely batted an eye at the sudden appearance of the leather-clad hero. "Chat Noir," he greeted, tilting his head. "What's up?"</p><p>Chat slung a charming smile onto his face. "Just on my way to meet m- Ladybug. And yourself?"</p><p>Luka looked ahead, eyes searching. "I'm looking for my friend Marinette. I'm pretty sure I just saw her walk around that corner."</p><p>"What a coincidence," Chat said, conjuring up fake nonchalance with the ease of practice. "I'm headed that way myself."</p><p>They made polite small talk, both avoiding the topic of the recent battle with Hawkmoth and Mayura. At the corner, they turned into an alleyway, which Chat knew would eventually open into the courtyard Ladybug wanted to meet him in. </p><p>As they walked down the alley, drawing closer and closer to the courtyard with every step, Marinette came into view. "There she is," Luka said, a fond smile on his face.</p><p>A few more steps revealed red and black spots. "Is she talking to Ladybug?" Chat asked.</p><p>Sure enough, the two girls were huddled together, deep in conversation, and neither seemed aware of the boys approaching them. Something about their body language was comfortable, familiar; Chat supposed that made sense. After all, they knew each other well enough for Ladybug to trust Marinette with the mouse miraculous, even for a short time.</p><p>Just as Luka and Chat Noir were about to step into the courtyard, just as Chat was raising a hand and opening his mouth to call out a greeting, both boys froze. Chat didn't quite know why, but his instincts screamed <em>stop!</em></p><p>His eyes tracked Marinette's hand as she reached up and brushed Ladybug's bangs aside.</p><p>His brain yelled <em>Back away! Retreat! Close your eyes! This is a private moment that you are not a part of!</em></p><p>But he couldn't move. He almost forgot about Luka, who was still as a statue right beside him, and all the sounds of the world - pigeons cooing and cars honking and people talking - faded away as Ladybug leaned her cheek against Marinette's hand. The rest of the world may as well have vanished for all the attention Chat payed it while he watched Ladybug lean forward and kiss Marinette.</p><p>Marinette's hands held the superheroine's face gently, and Ladybug's arms slid around the other girl's waist, pulling her close. They separated after only a moment, but it was enough to knock Chat's entire world off balance. His brain, overloaded with emotions he couldn't even begin to understand, simply shut off.</p><p>Marinette brushed a thumb across Ladybug's cheek, saying something Chat couldn't hear. If he had to guess based on her expression, he'd go for something like, <em>Please be careful.</em></p><p>Ladybug cracked a smile and pressed a kiss to his classmate's nose - her face scrunched up adorably at that - and Ladybug said something back. Based on her face it could have been <em>I always am</em> or <em>don't worry about me</em> or <em>I love you.</em></p><p>The realization that he'd been wanting for years to see that look of utter adoration on Ladybug's face hit him like a punch to the stomach.</p><p>Marinette started to pull away, but Ladybug's arms tightened around her and the spotted heroine kissed her again. Chat could tell Marinette was smiling as she wrapped her arms around his partner's neck, kissing her back. This kiss was longer than the first, and passionate enough that both Chat and Luka looked away at the same time.</p><p>"We shouldn't be here," Luka said in a low voice.</p><p>Chat grabbed Luka around the middle and used his baton to catapult them out of the alley and back onto the street. The two boys looked at each other, utterly silent. Something unspoken passed between them, a protective kind of camaraderie: <em>No one can ever know.</em></p>
<hr/><p>Back in the courtyard, both Marinette and Ladybug shimmered and vanished. On the rooftop above, the real Marinette released her transformation, catching Trixx in her hands. "Good job," she murmured.</p><p>"You'd make a good fox," Trixx said before diving into her purse. </p><p>Tikki floated out, snapping the purse closed behind her, and nuzzled her Chosen's face.</p><p>"Chat will be expecting Ladybug," Marinette said tiredly.</p><p>"He can wait a few more minutes," Tikki said, backing up to look her in the eye, "if you need some time alone."</p><p>Marinette managed a smile at that. "I'm never alone, Tikki," she said. "I have you."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thanks for reading!</p><p>I've never written anything that didn't have a happy feel to it, but this idea wouldn't leave me alone. Now it can bother you, too.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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